Forever be in your hearts and your inbox

I have to come clean. I am your friend/enemy/occasional entertainer/time waster. I am the office email forwarder. Yes, you either love me or HATE ME. You either crack up at the forward or demand your five minutes back. I will never forget the day I logged onto the good book and peeped my best friend's status: "You know you've graduated college when your friends constantly send you chain emails ALL DAY LONG." This was undoubtedly directed at me. I'm not in denial, I'm completely aware of my constant presence in your inbox. Proud of it even. The response to this comment was equally amusing: "Welcome to the wonderful world of 40+ hour weeks. I promise it gets better."

Um really, it gets better? I'm still waiting... I think it only gets worse. I like to think my chain emails are the only things that keep some people going. (At least for those participating in the current legal form of slavery, aka public accounting) Another reaction was less encouraging "I don’t think she even works. 4 in one day?" This set me off. I do work, but I definitely "prioritize" my time to send out these little diddies. Sorry I'm not sorry. But I go nowhere where I'm not appreciated, so I politely offered to remove all these ingrates and shit-talkers from my email list. And then the truth comes out. These fools admit their affection for my constant forwards and crumble at the thought of being deleted.

My other pal then brings up a great point. "At least they aren't the ones that if you don't forward them to 20 of your closest friends, you will never find true love, etc. Those ones stress me out." Yeah duh peeps. I'm already superstitious enough. At the ripe age of 22 with new instilled fears of being the next cat lady or the aunt that buys all her nieces and nephews gifts every holiday because she has no kids of her own. Sorry, thanks but no thanks. The last thing I need is an irrational chain email I sent out effing things up for me and my HUGE life plans. Then the last reply on this status makes me brim in happiness.
"Chal's chain emails are a true ray of sunshine and cheer on a dismal Monday at the office." Thank you. So either read them, have a little chuckle, or just delete them (if you suck). I don't care, your loss not mine. And if I'm your link and you're indeed another "office email forwarder" all the power to you. I am honored to be your enabler. May I forever be in your hearts and your inbox.